Did you know…

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim on land.

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris walked on Jesus

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris invented the boat

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of the beard. Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other three Wise Men, angered by Jesus’ favoritism, had Chuck Norris removed from the Bible. The three wise men were later found dead, for mysterious roundhouse kick-related reasons.

Jesus turned water into wine, but Chuck Norris turned wine into beer. Thank you Chuck Norris.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a symbolic reference to Chuck Norris’ limbs.

Chuck Norris once gave his cell phone a brain tumor.

Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is “lucky”.

Chuck Norris does not have skin; instead, he is covered in innumerable tiny fists.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. After six hours of excruciating pain, the rattlesnake died.

Chuck Norris once walked out onto the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

It is said that Chuck Norris’s tears are the cure for cancer.but he has nevered cried,ever.

Did you know…

A Klondike Bar will do anything for a Chuck Norris The active ingredient in Red Bull is Chuck Norris’s sweat. Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died. No one dares to add Chuck Norris E-mail Chuck-Norris@hotmail.com because Chuck Norris taught his E-Mail to Roundhouse Kick which leads to delete them. Declare Chuck Norris. Not … Continue reading

Did you know…

Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Chuck Norris … Continue reading

Did you know…

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a KFC. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn. A duck’s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon. When asked why he will simply stare at … Continue reading

Did you know…

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Chuck Norris used … Continue reading