Did you know…

Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim on land.

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris walked on Jesus

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris invented the boat

Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of the beard. Jesus wore it proudly until his dying day. The other three Wise Men, angered by Jesus’ favoritism, had Chuck Norris removed from the Bible. The three wise men were later found dead, for mysterious roundhouse kick-related reasons.

Jesus turned water into wine, but Chuck Norris turned wine into beer. Thank you Chuck Norris.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a symbolic reference to Chuck Norris’ limbs.

Chuck Norris once gave his cell phone a brain tumor.

Chuck Norris has a word for a person he puts into a coma; that word is “lucky”.

Chuck Norris does not have skin; instead, he is covered in innumerable tiny fists.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross, just never his own.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake while hiking. After six hours of excruciating pain, the rattlesnake died.

Chuck Norris once walked out onto the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

It is said that Chuck Norris’s tears are the cure for cancer.but he has nevered cried,ever.